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“Who are you?”“You may call me Sebastian. I am the caretaker of the vault.”“Caretaker? Are you a Magical Construct too?”“Good Heavens, no,” said the voice from behind me rather than sounding like it was coming from everywhere. The tone also suggested I had said something bad or insulting.I turned to meet the man and found that the statue was not where it had been. I felt like I was in a horror movie and something was playing a game with me. I shifted my tone, trying to sound more confident than I really felt. “Where are you, Sebastian?”“I am here,” he said, and the statue turned to face me.My heart raced. I held my ground though, and looked the statue over. It resembled a butler in a tuxedo. Whomever carved the thing even added a receding hairline and little mustache. “If you’re not a magical construct, then what are you?”“What do I look like?” asked the stone statue, sounding affronted. “I am a statue made of the same stone as was used to build the manor and this vault.”“But you’re. “Receiving oral?” 9.“Giving oral?” 8.“69?” 5.“What about spanking?”“5 for giving, 1 for receiving,” I replied, getting into the spirit of things.“Anal sex?”“10 for giving, 1 for receiving”“Pegging?”“What’s that?”“That’s when Liz over there wears a strap-on and fucks you with it.”“Oh,” I turned around and looked at Liz, who grinned devilishly. “Oh, uh, still a 1, I think. Sorry, Liz.” She looked disappointed.“Do you have any STDs?” No.“Would you be willing to be tested?” Sure.“Very well.” Cheryl looked up from her laptop and met my eye for the first time since starting the questions. She spent a long moment looking at me, and I had the sense she was making up her mind. My heart was pounding. Did I get the questions wrong? Was I not into enough of the things they were looking for? I should have said I’d be willing to try being pegged.“Here’s the deal, Mike.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk and steepling her fingers. “I won’t lie to you, this is a high-stress position..
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